My thumb is numb. The doctor numbed it prior to a painful procedure. He said the numbing would last about 12 hours. It's going on 20. Jesus has valuable lessons for me to learn from a numb thumb.
When numb, I turn dumb
Spiritually speaking, numb turns dumb quickly. Recently, I spoke on Jonah and referred to him as dumb. Using Jonah 4:2, we see Jonah knows about the Lord. Jonah knows God is gracious, compassionate, slow to anger, abounding in love, and relenting from sending calamity. But a personal storm blew and Jonah forgot what he knew.
I, too, know these things about God. I've known them a long time. And like Jonah [1:9], when he was in the midst of a storm, I know who I belong to and who I worship. Knowing I belong to Jesus and trusting Him in the midst of a storm are different.
Currently, I'm in a personal storm. And just yesterday [two days after I preached about DEEP stuff] like Jonah, I was numb and dumb followed. The winds blew, things became wilder [Jonah 1:13], and I viewed this storm through numb eyes. Dumb.
The tingling and heavy-like feeling has me focused on my numb thumb. Most days, I hardly pay attention to my thumb. But now that it's numb, I'm consumed. My attention is rivoted on this dumb, numb thumb. Spiritually, this personal storm had me distracted - I became numb and dumb - no longer focused on what I know about God, only that I know God. Enter questions, complaining, exhaustion, irritability, impatience. My heart becomes numb and I act dumb.
Numb and Dumb keep me from remembering what I know about God
Jonah forgot what he knew when his personal storm blew. And so did I. The storm had my attention. This vessel, my life, is not meant to be steered by me, myself, and I. That's three too many at the helm, overwhelming the vessel. I have a choice: be overwhelmed by the storm, or overwhelmed by a gracious, compassionate, slow to anger, abounding in love God.
Allow Jesus to helm the helm!
What? How did I miss this - helm is a noun and a verb? In that case, whoever helms the helm of my heart truly matters. When I'm at the helm, I steer my heart to unsafe, unstable, untrustworthy places. Jesus taking my wheel now has a whole new meaning. Not only do I need Jesus at the helm, I desperately need Him to take control and have complete direction over my heart.
I waited until the numb in my thumb disappeared before completing this post. It's been 25 hours and the numb has left my thumb. However, my personal storm still hovers. I'm ok with this vessel being tossed about since Jesus is at the helm. I'm no longer dumb, because I know my Lord is gracious, compassionate, slow to anger, abounding in love, and relents from sending calamity.
Jesus helms my heart. A numb thumb taught me this.